Sex is not always a sport and, although sex games and sex positions abound, it should never be a competition. However, if you want to become a gold medalist in bed, you can’t expect to sit back and hope that the best sex of your life descends on you by magic or is somehow passed down through the genes of your ancestors. You have to train.
Superstar coaches of practically every sport on the planet train their aspiring athletes with the same basic principle. No matter what the sport, competition, or activity, the best training always consists of two essential parts: mental and physical. Training must be 50% mental and 50% physical.
The physical 50% is the kind everyone who has ever watched a sports movie is all too familiar with. In sports, it involves those ten-mile hikes through the mud in the rain at 5 AM. It involves charging through barriers made of foam, stepping through gauntlets made of tires, and passing the ball back and forth until it becomes second nature.
In the arena of adult sex, the physical 50% means that you need to get as much practice as you possibly can. Know your own body like… the back of your hand. Get to know the body or bodies of your spouse, partner, or friends with benefits until you can trace them in your sleep. Don’t expect to have mind-blowing sex every time right away. Expect only to practice.
But just like in any sport, the physical 50% is not enough.
For athletes, the mental 50% involves both watching other professionals perform the right way the actions they hope to excel at and also playing back the tapes of their own performances in order to spot their own weak areas. The mental 50% is all about studying, immersing their minds in the sport, activity, or action so much so that when they get on the field, their bodies automatically follow suit.
In sex, the mental 50% can be accomplished in a number of ways.
Reading is one of the easiest ways to train your mind in the art of sex. Sex advice is readily available in large and free quantities online, so find a sex blog or sex advice portal that you love and visit it often.
Playing the tapes back is another great way to get in the mental 50%, so don’t be ashamed to find some tasteful erotica and take notes. If your partners or friends with benefits are adventurous enough, you may find it equal parts enjoyable and educational to film yourselves in various states of undress performing various sex positions and sexual acts. When you watch yourselves later, you can highlight the things you did that really made your partner scream as well as make a mental note of the things they did that sent shivers through your spine.